Philadelphia, PA
Legendary diamond-in-the-rough metal band Night Mission has announced that its upcoming ripper, “Pistols at Dawn,” is delayed.
“The song is fucking perfect, absolutely flawless. It just needs a few more tweaks,” said guitarist Riz.
Fearing an emotional setback worldwide, stocks were immediately dumped across the board in favor of much harder and smarter assets like Bitcoin.
“There’s a random bell sound in the middle of the track, Primo’s fault. Guy can’t go 2 minutes without a sniff if you know what I mean.”
Guitarist and recording lead Ronan hasn’t been seen in months, his pale Irish skin in danger of hitting E on vitamin D.
“The Fed will buy us some more time. The track will be done when it’s done,” scoffed Riz, as he shows his Bitcoin wallet to some chick that couldn’t give a fuck.
