Citing a worrying and enormous rise in auto-tuned music over the years, the magnificent health expert Dr. Fauci is now recommending “ear masks” to defend against the plague of auto-tune.
“The problem has been getting horrific,” said Fauci.
“We feel that the right thing to do is protect the people of this nation from further harm with this official recommendation.”
Fauci had just left a recent Night Mission recording session, where he planned on harvesting samples of pure rock.
Using the most potent form of rock n’ roll, scientists believe they can create a vaccine that immediately causes people to puke in the presence of auto-tuned, soul-sucking music.
“The kids don’t know how good we had it,” said Fauci, puffing a J.
“Today’s music ain’t got the same soul. I like this Night Mission rock n’ roll.”