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Philadelphia, PA Legendary diamond-in-the-rough metal band Night Mission has announced that its upcoming ripper, “Pistols at Dawn,” is delayed. “The song is fucking perfect, absolutely flawless. It just needs a few more tweaks,” said guitarist Riz. Fearing an emotional setback worldwide, stocks were immediately dumped across the board in favor of much harder and smarter […]

Kennedy Space Center, Florida Absolutely fed up with and sickened by new music pushed down his throat by the Illuminati, Elon Musk decided to blow 100 billion on a journey into space seeking “alien music.” Due to fake-smoking a J on Joe Rogan’s podcast, Musk didn’t immediately come to the realization that today’s music is […]

Washington DC Citing a worrying and enormous rise in auto-tuned music over the years, the magnificent health expert Dr. Fauci is now recommending “ear masks” to defend against the plague of auto-tune. “The problem has been getting horrific,” said Fauci. “We feel that the right thing to do is protect the people of this nation […]

If you are a booking agent or promoter, it can be difficult to find bands with any quality talent or soul. Music these days has been trending toward utter crap, but it’s possible to discover music that keeps it true to the roots. One such band is Night Mission, a Philadelphia classic style heavy metal […]

Night Mission is scheduled to open for metal legends Raven on Sept. 16th at Bar XIII in Delaware. Who the hell is Raven? Back in the day, some band called Metallica got its start by following and touring with Raven, a bunch of Brits from across the pond who have been active since 1974. This […]

Check out this “artwork music video” for Drinkin’ on Mars using some hand selected art from around the web.